2012: Gotta pee? Tough shit..this one's a bladder buster

Haven't seen "2012" yet? Well too bad. Don't read on if you don't want any spoilers. But really, spoilers won't matter as there is very little plot. And what "plot" there is is mostly dumb and in many cases, simply tacked on to add "Character Depth". Listen, seriously, this movie is not to be taken seriously. It's dumb, loud, and just plain awesome. Take your brain out and see it on the big screen where the surround sound can render you deaf and the explosions can burn their way into your retinas. Thats what it is all about. So whats bad about it: The length - this fucker is 2 hours and 40 minutes long, the plot, the extraneous family crap, the horrible science, and the theft of plot points from other movies (Drinking game: chug a beer every time you see something stolen from another movie...man you'll get wicked pissed and have to go to the emergency room! Woot-woo!). The good: the special effects are fucking righteous and the destruction. The destruction was cool. I LOVE destruction movies. However, I was a little taken aback by seeing all the little digital people plummet to their deaths from bridges, buildings and what not. I kept getting little "9-11" flashbacks and that made me a little squirmy. I also got a little tired of the escape plane flying below the earthquake edges. It seemed like they REALLY needed to pull back on the yoke. Some high points for me: The jumping limo, the jumping RV, the subway train shooting out of the wall of the earthquake and flying over the escape plane, the Yellowstone explosion. The movie left me with a lot of questions like would someone in a submarine survive? Why did they put the arks in china? Why did the Russian chick have to die - it seemed strange? Did Dog the Bounty Hunter say aloha to Hawaii before it went all Pele? Could Chuck Norris have side kicked the earth into submission and saved everyone. Where there any porn stars on the arks? Why was the guy played by Oliver Platt such a douche. It seemed like he eviled up only so that the bad guy from "Serenity" could have his "Hey! Don't be a douche! Let everyone into the arks!" Speech. Also, if you ever build an ark like that , don't make is so you can't turn on the propellers if one of the doors is open a crack. Just dumb. Oh yeah, if you fly around giraffes and Rhinos under a helocopter in the himalayan night air they will die. Dumbass.