Zorro

So I just read that Fox is planning on making another Zorro movie. Here's the kicker: It will take place in a post apocalyptic future. Um...I don't really know how I feel about this. Strangely, I really like Zorro. Now those of you who know me might think that's a little odd. I would agree with you. I mostly go for the elf, zombie, and cyborg movies. What is weird is that, though I absolutely hate westerns and cowboys, I love Zorro. I'm particularly fond of "Zorro the Gay Blade" and the Antonio Banderas Zorro movies. I just think that Zorro is a cool dude. Unfortunately, when I think about what it is about the character that I like, I come off sounding pretty into dudes. Things like the cool outfit, the whips....yikes. I think that Banderas was pretty awesome as Zorro...again...yikes. (Wait here a minute while I go look at hot naked babes on the interwebs...there..mmmm...boobies!)
I also freeking love post apocalyptic stories and movies. So really what is there to loose with this new Zorro movie? I dunno...I'm just not sold. So I'll be watching for more development on this movie. As with all new movie projects, I hope this one will be awesome.

"Congo"

Well...what is there to say about this Monkey Movie? I didn't hate it. Here's what you are getting into: Amy, a monkey taught to use sign language using a Nintendo Power Glove (You knew that someone besides Fred Savage had to eventually use one right?!) is taken back to her home in the Congo. Which is, apparently, located in Costa Rica. I would have thought that it would be somewhere in equatorial Africa. But no, it's in South America according to the climate and flora. I've seen enough episodes of "Destination Truth" to be able to tell the difference between Africa and South America. So anyways, some jerk scientists decide to take Chatty Amy back "home" even though she was raised by them. Good Idea. Nothing could go wrong here. So Amy and her science bros hook up with some money people with "Ulterior Motives" (SHOCKING) and they all fly to "Africa" and run into trouble with locals who have stinger missiles. Even though they shoot flares at the missiles they are pretty quickly shot down. Which, of course, is another shocking plot twist. Then they all march to this volcano. For some reason, at one point, they cross a lake, at night, and hippos attack. Don't these guys get Discovery Channel? Every body of water in "Africa" is swarming with pissed off robo-hippos that hunger for black flesh (of course, it was one of the black porters that got chomped). Then they get to this creepy temple that Tim Curry wanted to get to. I know I didn't mention that he was in the movie. But who gives a fuck. He is so over the top, outrageously Hungarian or something that I put him out of mind to avoid a seizure. Really, I love that guy, but he is just plain horrible in this one. Seriously. So anyways, they get to this temple and big white killer mutato apes show up and fuck everyone up. Eventually, everyone but Amy, main science bro and female corporate chick (Laura Linney) either get Ape-Fucked or volcanoed. Oh I forgot, that Ernie "Ghostbusters" Hudson is also in the movie and makes it out alive. Big deal. This was a Micheal Crichton movie. I didn't like it as much as Your Ass-Lick Park. I really don't see why people like him. His books are, for the most part, boring. Whatever.

Welcome back to me!

OK...so I took a break from blogging for a while. But...I'm currently sans employment so I guess I "have time" to piss into the wind again. So welcome back to me. I'm sure you missed me.

Terminator Salvation Harvester Hunt ENDED

So I finally tracked down the final piece I wanted for my Terminator Salvation collection. It never made the retail store shelves and was VERY pricey online. I finally found one very cheap. So it's now mine. Is it cool? You bet. It's huge! While not truely to scale with the 3 3/4" figures, it's still enormous. It has several weak action features: the spotlights sorta light up, the shoulder gun raises and fires a missile, and the big claws open and close. My son was disappointed that it didn't have any moto-terminators to shoot out of its legs. Those would have been a cool feature. Had this movie done better there were more vehicles planned. But, alas, they are no more. At least I can have it fight my AMP suit from "Avatar" and my Matrix Mecha Gun Thingy...I don't remember what it was really called.

Yay! Models!

I've realized that I have been spending much less time and money on collecting toys lately and instead spending that time on modeling. Right, right...Hardy, har, har. No, Tyra Banks is in no danger from me. I'm talking about building plastic models of space ships and cars and what not. Here are my latest completions:

Mobius' Robot B-9 from TV's "Lost in Space":


Despite the fact that there are relatively few parts , this model was a pain in the ass to build. It was pretty clearly made from a VERY old mold and the parts that made up the arms did not fit well together at all. The instructions were also shit and I didn't end up using them. Fortunately, the model was simple and it was pretty clear where things went from the picture on the box. That being said, I really enjoyed this build because of the painting. This one required extensive masking. Which is very time consuming. even though I used rattle cans, it came out VERY well. (For me anyways).

Revell's reissued Battlestar Galactica Viper:


So this one was a joy to build from beginning to end. It is also a pretty simple model to build. All the pieces went together well. This one is awesome more for the painting than the building. I'm about halfway done painting this one. I have more weathering and detail work to complete. I'll eventually get around to finishing it. However, it's far along enough now to call it "done" if I really wanted too. I didn't end up using many of the included stickers. For example, all of the stripes on the model are included in the sticker sheet. I Figured those would turn out looking really lame so I hand painted those on. It made weathering the stripes a breeze. I did use the Galactica insignias and the pilots name stickers.

There you....I'm sure you were totally enthralled.

Yub-NUB!

I was sitting here this morning mindlessly trying to get through the day. When, out of nowhere, I realized that I was singing the Ewok Celebration song from the original ending to "Return of the Jedi". While I was glad I was no longer stuck with that lame Taylor Swift song, I was a little annoyed that I will now be singing that damn song for the next week. Just to be helpful, I am posting the lyrics (yes, someone took the time to phonetically write them out. And people call me a nerd.) to help you get through your day:

The Ewok's Celebration Theme

Ewokese lyrics by Benn Burtt

Ewok Lyrics

Yub nub, eee chop yub nub;
Ah toe meet toe peechee keene,
G'noop dock fling oh ah.
Yahwah, eee chop yahwah;
Ah toe meet toe peechee keene,
G'noop dock fling oh ah.
Coatee chah tu yub nub;
Coatee chah tu yahwah;
Coatee chah tu glowah;
Allay loo ta nuv.
Glowah, eee chop glowah;
Ya glowah pee chu nee foam,
Ah toot dee awe goon daa.
*Coatee cha tu goo; (Yub nub!)
Coatee cha tu doo; (Yahwah!)
Coatee cha tu too; (Ya chaa!)
Allay loo ta nuv,
Allay loo ta nuv,
Allay loo ta nuv.
Glowah, eee chop glowah.
Ya glowah pee chu nee foam
Ah toot dee awe goon daa.
repeat *chorus

Basic Lyrics

Freedom, we got freedom;
And now that we can be free,
Come on and celebrate.
Power, we got power;
And now that we can be free,
It's time to celebrate.
Celebrate the freedom;
Celebrate the power;
Celebrate the glory;
Celebrate the love.
Power, we got power;
And now that we can be free,
It's time to celebrate.
*Celebrate the light; (Freedom!)
Celebrate the might; (Power!)
Celebrate the fight; (Glory!)
Celebrate the love.
Celebrate the love.
Celebrate the love.
Glory, we found glory.
The power showed us the light,
And now we all live free.
repeat *chorus

Shame on you Ben Burtt. R2-D2's bleeps and bloops were way cool.....Ee-CHUTAH!

Note: Growing up I was always irritated by the parts that went like this: "Allay loo ta nuv". I always thought that it was a lame attempt to fit a sound-a-like for "hallelujah" into the celebration song. Lame George Lucas. But this version of the song is still better than the new one they crammed down our throats.

Also, screw you Taylor Swift. I hate your damn whiny "why doesn't he love me" song. It's simple: You have huge, gross Gollum feet and you are stalking him.
She is the Cheer Captain. I bet she puts out too. Maybe if you tarted yourself up a bit and were less creepy he might notice you. La-la-la-la-la..that song will not get in my head...la-la-la-la! MASTER! MASTER! MASTER OF PUPPETS IS PULLING YOUR STRINGS!

PPS: yub-nub means Freedom. Seriously? I haven't ever created a language for a movie so I guess I shouldn't be so critical. Maybe that would be fun to do...not!

Intolerably Boring-sterds

"Inglorious Basterds?" Uh, It was ok. I really can't see what the small amount of fuss was about. I don't get the fantasy world war II aspect of the whole thing. The funny thing is that if this were a book, it would be found in the science fiction section under "Alternate History". There are a lot of books in this genre and most of them are mind numbingly boring. Sorry Harry Turtledove, I don't care to read your story about "What if the South won the Civil War because they invented lightsabers". Doesn't appeal to me at all in book form. Maybe a movie on Syfy (snicker) would peak my interest further. Oh wait, no it wouldn't. Fool me once you rascally channel! Sure "Ice Spiders" sounded kinda cool. Maybe they shoot ice out there spider nanners!? Nope. And that Landa guy (or whatever his name was) should have worn a tshirt with "EVIL" written on it. Man, that guy telegraphed his actions a mile away. That was really a key point of why I didn't enjoy this movie much. Predictability ran rampant all over this movie. So that wasn't awesome. I liked the cinematography and costumes though. Those Nazi's really knew how to dress. What is it about American movies that makes us spend so much time focusing on the villain's outfits. Granted, the Nazi's did dress like that. But it seemed almost fetishistic. Maybe that was the point. Oh yeah, we knew Shoshanna would turn up again and play a prominent part.

I'm REALLY not a fan of Quentin Tarantino. I just don't get why people love that guy despite the fact that he has a really annoying personality. His movies are not great. Yeah, I said it. There is "Pulp Fiction". There are people that absolutely LOVE that movie. I have seen it and to this day, I cannot see what is so great about it. I thought it was boring. So, even if I throw him a bone and say that movie was ok he still has no other good movies. NONE. AT. ALL. Sorry. The parts I saw of "Kill Bill" were lame. I had to turn those movies off. I put "Kill Bill" somewhere in the "Battlefield Earth" pile of all things that are awful. If you love those movies: I'm sorry. We can still be friends. But, please stop trying to convince me that Taratino has anything to offer me. He is a tool. A dull and long winded tool.

The only good thing I've ever gotten from him was exposure to Robert Rodriguez. Now that guy is cool. "Once Upon a Time in Mexico" was awesome! Brilliant? No. Innovative? No. But the man made Antionio Banderas COOL. Rodriguez must have made deal with Satan. I can't wait to see his "Predators" movie. Even if I'm supposed to believe that Adrian Brody is a badass. Maybe he is the guy in the squad that writes home to his sweety every day and gets horribly killed in the first act. I can get behind that. Suck on that Lars Ulrich!