"Congo"

Well...what is there to say about this Monkey Movie? I didn't hate it. Here's what you are getting into: Amy, a monkey taught to use sign language using a Nintendo Power Glove (You knew that someone besides Fred Savage had to eventually use one right?!) is taken back to her home in the Congo. Which is, apparently, located in Costa Rica. I would have thought that it would be somewhere in equatorial Africa. But no, it's in South America according to the climate and flora. I've seen enough episodes of "Destination Truth" to be able to tell the difference between Africa and South America. So anyways, some jerk scientists decide to take Chatty Amy back "home" even though she was raised by them. Good Idea. Nothing could go wrong here. So Amy and her science bros hook up with some money people with "Ulterior Motives" (SHOCKING) and they all fly to "Africa" and run into trouble with locals who have stinger missiles. Even though they shoot flares at the missiles they are pretty quickly shot down. Which, of course, is another shocking plot twist. Then they all march to this volcano. For some reason, at one point, they cross a lake, at night, and hippos attack. Don't these guys get Discovery Channel? Every body of water in "Africa" is swarming with pissed off robo-hippos that hunger for black flesh (of course, it was one of the black porters that got chomped). Then they get to this creepy temple that Tim Curry wanted to get to. I know I didn't mention that he was in the movie. But who gives a fuck. He is so over the top, outrageously Hungarian or something that I put him out of mind to avoid a seizure. Really, I love that guy, but he is just plain horrible in this one. Seriously. So anyways, they get to this temple and big white killer mutato apes show up and fuck everyone up. Eventually, everyone but Amy, main science bro and female corporate chick (Laura Linney) either get Ape-Fucked or volcanoed. Oh I forgot, that Ernie "Ghostbusters" Hudson is also in the movie and makes it out alive. Big deal. This was a Micheal Crichton movie. I didn't like it as much as Your Ass-Lick Park. I really don't see why people like him. His books are, for the most part, boring. Whatever.