Yub-NUB!

I was sitting here this morning mindlessly trying to get through the day. When, out of nowhere, I realized that I was singing the Ewok Celebration song from the original ending to "Return of the Jedi". While I was glad I was no longer stuck with that lame Taylor Swift song, I was a little annoyed that I will now be singing that damn song for the next week. Just to be helpful, I am posting the lyrics (yes, someone took the time to phonetically write them out. And people call me a nerd.) to help you get through your day:

The Ewok's Celebration Theme

Ewokese lyrics by Benn Burtt

Ewok Lyrics

Yub nub, eee chop yub nub;
Ah toe meet toe peechee keene,
G'noop dock fling oh ah.
Yahwah, eee chop yahwah;
Ah toe meet toe peechee keene,
G'noop dock fling oh ah.
Coatee chah tu yub nub;
Coatee chah tu yahwah;
Coatee chah tu glowah;
Allay loo ta nuv.
Glowah, eee chop glowah;
Ya glowah pee chu nee foam,
Ah toot dee awe goon daa.
*Coatee cha tu goo; (Yub nub!)
Coatee cha tu doo; (Yahwah!)
Coatee cha tu too; (Ya chaa!)
Allay loo ta nuv,
Allay loo ta nuv,
Allay loo ta nuv.
Glowah, eee chop glowah.
Ya glowah pee chu nee foam
Ah toot dee awe goon daa.
repeat *chorus

Basic Lyrics

Freedom, we got freedom;
And now that we can be free,
Come on and celebrate.
Power, we got power;
And now that we can be free,
It's time to celebrate.
Celebrate the freedom;
Celebrate the power;
Celebrate the glory;
Celebrate the love.
Power, we got power;
And now that we can be free,
It's time to celebrate.
*Celebrate the light; (Freedom!)
Celebrate the might; (Power!)
Celebrate the fight; (Glory!)
Celebrate the love.
Celebrate the love.
Celebrate the love.
Glory, we found glory.
The power showed us the light,
And now we all live free.
repeat *chorus

Shame on you Ben Burtt. R2-D2's bleeps and bloops were way cool.....Ee-CHUTAH!

Note: Growing up I was always irritated by the parts that went like this: "Allay loo ta nuv". I always thought that it was a lame attempt to fit a sound-a-like for "hallelujah" into the celebration song. Lame George Lucas. But this version of the song is still better than the new one they crammed down our throats.

Also, screw you Taylor Swift. I hate your damn whiny "why doesn't he love me" song. It's simple: You have huge, gross Gollum feet and you are stalking him.
She is the Cheer Captain. I bet she puts out too. Maybe if you tarted yourself up a bit and were less creepy he might notice you. La-la-la-la-la..that song will not get in my head...la-la-la-la! MASTER! MASTER! MASTER OF PUPPETS IS PULLING YOUR STRINGS!

PPS: yub-nub means Freedom. Seriously? I haven't ever created a language for a movie so I guess I shouldn't be so critical. Maybe that would be fun to do...not!

Intolerably Boring-sterds

"Inglorious Basterds?" Uh, It was ok. I really can't see what the small amount of fuss was about. I don't get the fantasy world war II aspect of the whole thing. The funny thing is that if this were a book, it would be found in the science fiction section under "Alternate History". There are a lot of books in this genre and most of them are mind numbingly boring. Sorry Harry Turtledove, I don't care to read your story about "What if the South won the Civil War because they invented lightsabers". Doesn't appeal to me at all in book form. Maybe a movie on Syfy (snicker) would peak my interest further. Oh wait, no it wouldn't. Fool me once you rascally channel! Sure "Ice Spiders" sounded kinda cool. Maybe they shoot ice out there spider nanners!? Nope. And that Landa guy (or whatever his name was) should have worn a tshirt with "EVIL" written on it. Man, that guy telegraphed his actions a mile away. That was really a key point of why I didn't enjoy this movie much. Predictability ran rampant all over this movie. So that wasn't awesome. I liked the cinematography and costumes though. Those Nazi's really knew how to dress. What is it about American movies that makes us spend so much time focusing on the villain's outfits. Granted, the Nazi's did dress like that. But it seemed almost fetishistic. Maybe that was the point. Oh yeah, we knew Shoshanna would turn up again and play a prominent part.

I'm REALLY not a fan of Quentin Tarantino. I just don't get why people love that guy despite the fact that he has a really annoying personality. His movies are not great. Yeah, I said it. There is "Pulp Fiction". There are people that absolutely LOVE that movie. I have seen it and to this day, I cannot see what is so great about it. I thought it was boring. So, even if I throw him a bone and say that movie was ok he still has no other good movies. NONE. AT. ALL. Sorry. The parts I saw of "Kill Bill" were lame. I had to turn those movies off. I put "Kill Bill" somewhere in the "Battlefield Earth" pile of all things that are awful. If you love those movies: I'm sorry. We can still be friends. But, please stop trying to convince me that Taratino has anything to offer me. He is a tool. A dull and long winded tool.

The only good thing I've ever gotten from him was exposure to Robert Rodriguez. Now that guy is cool. "Once Upon a Time in Mexico" was awesome! Brilliant? No. Innovative? No. But the man made Antionio Banderas COOL. Rodriguez must have made deal with Satan. I can't wait to see his "Predators" movie. Even if I'm supposed to believe that Adrian Brody is a badass. Maybe he is the guy in the squad that writes home to his sweety every day and gets horribly killed in the first act. I can get behind that. Suck on that Lars Ulrich!

Moon

Saw the movie "Moon" starring Sam Rockwell this weekend. It was cool. Well written, acted and directed. I absolutely loved the design of the moon base and the rovers. They had a very 1970's feel to them. Everything was stark white and angular. It reminded me strongly of "Alien" and "Space 1999". So my inner 1970's kid was running around the room in circles of joy the whole time. It was a tiny bit distracting for me that it starred Sam Rockwell. He will always be "Wild Bill" from "The Green Mile" to me. "Stinky PINKY! PEW! PEW! PEW!" But I was able to put that mostly aside and enjoy the film. It looked like all the effects were practical. This is always a plus for me. I would love to get a model or toy of the rover. (Nerd voice) "That would be aweshum!(End nerd voice). This movie is for you if: you are a nerd, you were a kid int he 70's, you like Sam Rockwell, you like cool movie and I don't have to punch you in the mouth. (Drops Microphone!)

Damn...Just Damn

This clearly illustrates how the cheese swilling surrender monkeys didn't "get" Star Wars at all...

Yay! We're all nuts for Avatar!

People: Seriously, Avatar, though fucking awesome, is just a movie. It really says something about this film that so much discussion centers around it. People are saying it's racist. They say it's another example of white people saving the noble savage. I don't know about it being racist. But, it is one of a long list of movies that portray "White Guilt" this way. Historically, in film, whites have lived out this fantasy. So I don't get too excited by this claim. It appears to be true. Some people are saying that the movie is anti military. Um, tards, the people in the movie aren't soldiers. They aren't military. They are mercenaries of "The Corporation". Soldiers and Mercenaries are NOT the same thing. If you are confused, I dare you to ask a Marine what the difference is. This movie is anti corporate greed. I am too. So that's all right with me. Some people seem to be having a hard time separating themselves from the fantasy world of Pandora. There are many reports of depression and thoughts of suicide after seeing this movie. Wow, people. I don't know what else to say. Is your life that shitty that you can't bear the thought of returning to the real world? I guess so. Please get some help. I don't mean that in a sarcastic manner. Movies like this should excite your imagination and bring you joy. They shouldn't make you want to die. We'll leave that to movies like "Battlefield Earth".

OH....MY...GAWD!

http://www.guardian.co.uk/music/2010/jan/05/christopher-lee-symphonic-metal-album

Hot Damn! SARU-METAL!

Sherlock...Yawn....Holmes

I saw it. I didn't hate it. It was 30 minutes too long. The actors are good...But I was still somewhat bored. Oh Yeah, "Sherlock Holmes" director Guy Richie can suck it. Holmes and Watson were not gay. You can cram in 40 minutes of innuendo. But they still aren't. Please save your Holmes/Watson slash fanfic for the interwebs. Fuck you. That was part of why it was boring. We get it already. You think they were "special friends". We are not retarded. You didn't have to "hint" at it every eleven seconds. Eat shit.

Um..yeah I guess I got a little worked up there...but I did shell out like $35 for the family to see it. So I feel a little gipped by the director. Not the script or actors so much.

Trejo + Machete = Awesome....unless you are a pussy

Ok, so I saw the above poster for the first time today. All I say is "Thank Cheebus I get paid tomorrow!". I didn't give two squirts of pee pee for Tarantino's "Grindhouse" segment. Seriously. I could care less about that guy. I know some of ya'll LOVE! him but I don't. I'm much more interested in Robert Rodriquez. I like his stuff. "Planet Terror" was a hoot. "Desperado" was awesome. But I was most intrigued by the "Machete" trailer featuring that super stud Danny Trejo. Man, I really enjoy that guy. So the idea of him running around "Machete-ing" people in a very 1970's kinda way, for some reason, REALLY appeals to me. So I see the poster.....That is just crammed full of 70's cheapo movie awesome sauce. The 70's were good to the movie poster fans out there. And I just lurves me some movie posters. In closing, the Roman Empire was neither Roman nor an Empire....discuss...And "yes" I will be buying that poster tomorrow. Hopefully the movie won't suck. But really, the poster is so awesome I could care less. You can buy it here:

http://www.moviegoods.com/movie_product_static.asp?master_movie_id=36643&sku=441620