5FDP

Recently, I discovered that what I really want to be when I grow up is a member of the band "Five Finger Death Punch". Why? Because I too am a wounded bunny who is tired of bowing to the MAN and what not...sniffle. Anyway, I got their sophmore release "War is the Answer" the day it came out. No thanks to Target and Walmart. Both of which were too weak in the crotch to sell this most excellent album. Now normally, I'm not into the gutteral sound of much of what is considered "Metal" these days. Most of the time I do just fine with the likes of Iron Maiden and Queenryche thank you very much for asking. But really, who can deny the joy that is songs like "White Knuckles" and "Canto"? Only poosays. That's who. They of the crotch taco. Poonanners...you get the idea. Listening to this music is like standing on top of a mountain, holding your battle axe in one hand and screaming threats at the gods. In your other hand you swing your 42 inch dong round and round in circles whilst the lightning crashes around you. And you fear not...for you are become death, the destroyer of worlds. All your enemies are driven before and you drink in the lamentations of their women. This is a good thing. Buy the albums of Five Finger Death Punch and rejoice. Now I've read quite a few reviews of the band's albums and people who consider themselves "Hardcore" call this band "Laughable". I drop an FBOMB! on you. I can't take the opions of a 12 year old "extreme metal" fan to heart. A pox on their undropped testicles.