Zorro

So I just read that Fox is planning on making another Zorro movie. Here's the kicker: It will take place in a post apocalyptic future. Um...I don't really know how I feel about this. Strangely, I really like Zorro. Now those of you who know me might think that's a little odd. I would agree with you. I mostly go for the elf, zombie, and cyborg movies. What is weird is that, though I absolutely hate westerns and cowboys, I love Zorro. I'm particularly fond of "Zorro the Gay Blade" and the Antonio Banderas Zorro movies. I just think that Zorro is a cool dude. Unfortunately, when I think about what it is about the character that I like, I come off sounding pretty into dudes. Things like the cool outfit, the whips....yikes. I think that Banderas was pretty awesome as Zorro...again...yikes. (Wait here a minute while I go look at hot naked babes on the interwebs...there..mmmm...boobies!)
I also freeking love post apocalyptic stories and movies. So really what is there to loose with this new Zorro movie? I dunno...I'm just not sold. So I'll be watching for more development on this movie. As with all new movie projects, I hope this one will be awesome.

"Congo"

Well...what is there to say about this Monkey Movie? I didn't hate it. Here's what you are getting into: Amy, a monkey taught to use sign language using a Nintendo Power Glove (You knew that someone besides Fred Savage had to eventually use one right?!) is taken back to her home in the Congo. Which is, apparently, located in Costa Rica. I would have thought that it would be somewhere in equatorial Africa. But no, it's in South America according to the climate and flora. I've seen enough episodes of "Destination Truth" to be able to tell the difference between Africa and South America. So anyways, some jerk scientists decide to take Chatty Amy back "home" even though she was raised by them. Good Idea. Nothing could go wrong here. So Amy and her science bros hook up with some money people with "Ulterior Motives" (SHOCKING) and they all fly to "Africa" and run into trouble with locals who have stinger missiles. Even though they shoot flares at the missiles they are pretty quickly shot down. Which, of course, is another shocking plot twist. Then they all march to this volcano. For some reason, at one point, they cross a lake, at night, and hippos attack. Don't these guys get Discovery Channel? Every body of water in "Africa" is swarming with pissed off robo-hippos that hunger for black flesh (of course, it was one of the black porters that got chomped). Then they get to this creepy temple that Tim Curry wanted to get to. I know I didn't mention that he was in the movie. But who gives a fuck. He is so over the top, outrageously Hungarian or something that I put him out of mind to avoid a seizure. Really, I love that guy, but he is just plain horrible in this one. Seriously. So anyways, they get to this temple and big white killer mutato apes show up and fuck everyone up. Eventually, everyone but Amy, main science bro and female corporate chick (Laura Linney) either get Ape-Fucked or volcanoed. Oh I forgot, that Ernie "Ghostbusters" Hudson is also in the movie and makes it out alive. Big deal. This was a Micheal Crichton movie. I didn't like it as much as Your Ass-Lick Park. I really don't see why people like him. His books are, for the most part, boring. Whatever.

Welcome back to me!

OK...so I took a break from blogging for a while. But...I'm currently sans employment so I guess I "have time" to piss into the wind again. So welcome back to me. I'm sure you missed me.