Steven Seagal: Fat Deputy Sheriff...

Steven Seagal: Fat Deputy Sheriff...um...I mean "Lawman". Wow...was this show bad. So bad that I will most likely watch it for a while. What a prick.... Which doesn't surprise me at all. What I can't believe is that the real deputies he works with don't just kill him. At one point, he says that he works in the "'jects" as in "Projects". Who the fuck says "'Jects"? It sounds like some white bread first time author trying to make up street slang. Thunderbutt, I mean Mr. Seagal, spends the whole show pontificating and otherwise talking down to the viewer. Anyone who has seen even one episode of "Cops" has more police knowledge than Deputy Lardass. I was really amused with how he describes himself as a Master Marksman and then he goes on to brag about shooting a target from like 3 feet away. "See? I can shoot a match. I"M SOOO FUCKING AWESOME!!!" What a tool. I love how the guy he is "helping" calls him "Chief". Dumpling also makes sure to mention that he is a "life long practitioner of the martial arts" at least 50 times. He is really a practitioner of breathing heavy when he jogs. You'd think he would be in better shape since he is a "life long practitioner of the martial arts". He comes across as more of a "life long practitioner of eating Krispy Kremes" and being a dickhead. So yeah...check this show out so you can be completely sure that you made the right decision in not paying any attention to him after 1992. Sadly, he did not break anyone's arm backwards in this episode. Hopefully it happens next episode. WA-CHA! JUDO-CHOP! and....um...gasp...get me a jelly!